


Quiet Moments

by tokidokifish



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M, I cannot believe that was already a tag, Post-Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers, Post-Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood, Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV) Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:07:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24868846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokidokifish/pseuds/tokidokifish
Summary: Conversations between the Warrior of Light, Prim Polruin, and the people most important to them.
Relationships: Alphinaud Leveilleur & Warrior of Light, G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	1. Under A Bridge

**Author's Note:**

> this is INTENSELY niche and i can't imagine this interesting much of anyone but here we are [dabs]

Alphinaud Leveilleur was a young man who did his best not to allow himself the folly of hubris, not again, not after paying so high a price for it. He knew he was talented in many aspects - exceptionally talented, even - but he tried not to get too carried away in the idea of his own expertise. 

All that having been said, however, Alphinaud rather thought there was no one in the world who better understood the Warrior of Light. He had, as far as he was aware, spent more time with Prim than anyone else. They had been beside him at his lowest, a quiet, reassuring presence that he had come to cherish. He considered them his best friend, and considered himself lucky to have the privilege. 

And so - after their fight with the monstrosity that Zenos had made himself, after he had taken a blade to his own throat, while everyone else was basking in the heady relief and joy of victory - he realized that there was something... perhaps not _wrong_. But certainly there was something weighing on them, as they turned away from the body in the flowers; he could see it in their eyes, could almost pinpoint the moment they chose to push their own feelings down and focus instead on Lyse and victory. He suspected it was something they were used to - something that they had, at one point in their life, made a habit of: disappearing in a crowded room. It was harder now that they were the vaunted Warrior of Light, slayer of eikons and dragons, ender of wars. But they could still do it, given the right situation - and the right motivation.

And certainly he wasn't going to fault them for that. It was, perhaps - probably, even - not the time. So he waited, until everything had died down, when they were back in Rhalgr's Reach. And then he went looking for them.

The fact they were clearly making themself scarce only affirmed the idea something was bothering them. He avoided the more crowded areas, filled with noise and too many people, and found them in the second place he looked - the first had been the entryway to the temple; they told him they liked the flowers, and the cool quiet dimness. But there was also a guard posted, and perhaps even that was too much company for their mood. 

Insteady, he found them tucked up under one of the bridges, at the edge of the water, their knees drawn up and tail wrapped around their ankles. Somewhere private, near the water - which they liked - but protected, somewhat, from the constant roaring of the waterfalls - which bothered them. 

"Hello," he said, softly. An ear flicked in his direction, and then they looked up at him. "Do you mind if I join you?" They were quiet. "If you would prefer not to be bothered, I can leave."

Their not unfamiliar silence stretched on for a moment more, and then they shook their head. "It's okay. You don't bother me, Alphinaud."

"Anyone can be a bother, in the right - or rather wrong - situation," he said, but he was relieved, rather embarrassingly. He knew that he often bothered people. Prim was one of the few who could reliably put up with him. 

And that's why he was here. He climbed under the bridge to join them, and quietly took them in. Since Doma, they had been wearing half of a stolen Imperial uniform, both because it amused them and - they had confessed - they rather liked the style. But now they were back in a simple camisole, and he realized there may have been another reason they wore that borrowed uniform: because it had at least somewhat hidden how very small they were. It was often hard to miss, when they were literally dancing across the battlefield, but he was only one minor (and frankly overdue) growth spurt from completely outstripping them in terms of height - but perhaps they were due for one, themself. He wasn't entirely sure how old they were; he rather thought, from what he knew about their past, that even they might not know. But he did know they were young, younger than any of the other Scions, and made to carry so much. 

Even he had asked them to shoulder not just impossible burdens in service of Eorzea, but also the weight of his own worries. It seemed like the least he could do was return the favor. 

"Is aught amiss?" he asked. 

They made an uncertain noise, and looked over at him again, and he could see conflict on their face.

"I thought you looked troubled," he explained. "And - well, you've certainly listened to enough of my troubles, haven't you? I thought it was high time I returned the favor."

"You don't have to," they told him. "I don't do it because I expect to be repaid."

"I know," he said. "But I want to. Because you're my friend." 

They looked down, and for a moment he thought they wouldn't want to speak after all. But then: "I'm not sure where to start." 

"Is it Zenos?" he asked. "Are you upset with the way things ended? I'll admit, at the time I was a bit... carried away by my emotions, but looking back it was rather... well, _upsetting_ to see, wasn't it?"

"It was," they agreed, voice quiet. "And he - talked. A lot. Before all of you got there. And at one point, he said... he said that he thought we could have carried on as friends. If I would accept him." Their eyes found his, again. "I said no. And now, after everything... I can't help but... wonder. If I had answered differently. Would that have... changed it, in the end."

For a moment, all he could do was stare. He knew that they weren't hard-hearted; far from it. They still carried the weight of those they had lost, some of it almost too heavy to bear - he had, very sincerely, worried for a moment if they were going to be able to go on after Haurchefant had died. But...

"As gentle a soul you may be, I never would have guessed that such compassion would extend to our enemies," he said. "Especially not one like Zenos. You are nothing like him!"

"But I am," they said, immediately. "Like him."

Once again, he was startled into silence. But this time, Prim went on. 

"I know what it's like not to feel things the right way," they said. "To look at people experiencing something and have it be completely alien to me. And I... I've learned to handle it better, but I have to wonder how much of that is me and how much of that is the people I've surrounded myself with. If I had grown up in the same circumstances of Zenos - if I had even just grown up in the Empire - would I have been like him? Capable of the same things he was? And I can't help but think that - if all I had known was emptiness or the thrill of the fight, and I finally found someone I thought could understand me, and I reached out my hand to them, even for a moment, only to have it rebuffed... what would I do in that situation?" 

They shook their head, ears pressed flat. "I recognize the things he did. You called him a rabid animal, and I understand why. But I think I understand too much, and that's why... that's why." 

They shut their mouth, and buried their face against their knees, swaying a little in place. For a long, long moment, Alphinaud couldn't think of a thing to say, overwhelmed by a sudden new understanding of his quiet friend. But then he realized there was one thing he was absolutely sure of. 

"You still aren't like him," he said. "Do you know why? Because you're a Warrior of Light."

They looked at him, brow creased with hurt, and he shook his head. 

"I don't mean that you're special because you're a Warrior of Light," he said, quietly. "I think you're a Warrior of Light because you're special. Because Hydaelyn saw something in you. Something that we all see in you, that draws us to you, gives us hope. It's not the light of the crystal, it's just - you, Prim." 

He reached out, and touched their hand. "You don't talk about yourself, but from some of the things you've said - I know you haven't had the easiest life either. Maybe it wasn't being raised as the crown prince of a dictatorship, but I know you had chances to become someone - someone other than who you became. You didn't have to join the Scions, you could have abandoned me after the Sultana's banquet - you've made a thousand choices that led you to this place. You talk about the people you've surrounded yourself with, but even that was a choice. You could have walked away at any time." 

They fidgeted a little. "I couldn't have."

He smiled. "The fact you think you couldn't just proves my point. And just like you've made your choices without even thinking about them, so too did Zenos, and look at where you both ended up. That hardly seems similar to me - and hells, even if you were..."

He shook his head. "I find it hard to believe he truly wanted a friend, even in the end, and I doubt your answer would have changed anything. It's understandable to carry the weight of what happened with you - I'd expect nothing less, actually. But... it also wasn't your fault."

They were quiet, staring at their knees. He let them have a moment.

"Oh," they finally said, softly.

"Do you feel any better?" he asked.

They tilted their head, clearly considering the question and their own feelings, and then smiled just a little. "Yes." 

"Good. I'm glad," he said, but there was still something bothering him. He looked at them, all curled up in a little ball, and then realized. "Would a hug be alright?" 

They nodded, with what looked like a flash of relief, and when he wrapped his arms around them, they snuggled in immediately. He thought he could hear a purr. 

"Thank you, Alphinaud," they said, and he smiled.

"Anytime. And I do mean that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> local teen finds kitten under bridge - what happens next will warm your heart


	2. Before Mt. Gulg & After

The Warrior of Light kissed the Crystal Exarch before they left for Mt. Gulg. 

Prim had stood stock still for a moment beforehand, eyes fixed on his face, and then darted forward - it was a soft kiss, the gentlest press of lips to the skin between his mouth and the crystal that curved over his cheek. 

"For luck," they had explained, when they stepped back, and he thought he saw a hint of red across their cheeks before they turned and whistled for their mount. They were gone before he could even begin to think of what to say.

"Ooohhh," Dulia-Chai cooed from behind him, and Chai-Nuzz grunted with what sounded like surprise and also approval, and the Exarch thought - well, he never _resented_ the sacrifice he would have to make, but it had been something he had resigned himself to, and part of the reason he had spent the last century mostly alone, caring for the world as a whole because getting attached to _people_ would have made it that much harder to leave. 

But now, touching the place he had been kissed in slight disbelief, he thought that he could die _happy_.

✢◆✤◆✢

But he didn't die. 

That had been the plan, of course, but then Emet-Selch had... interfered? Intervened, perhaps. And in the end, after Prim's soul was made whole and the light within them had been spent, as he stood somewhat unsteadily and started to apologize - they had stopped him, _smiled_ at him, and called him by his _name_.

And if he hadn't been in a considerable amount of pain, he would perhaps have thought he died after all. 

There wasn't much time to talk after that. They stayed just long enough for the beginning of the Crystarium's celebration of the return of the darkness, and then he had seen them off, afraid to ask for even a moment alone.

Time flowed differently between their worlds. They would be back, he knew - their friends were still here, after all, and he knew that they would never abandon the other Scions. But he also knew they had a life on the Source, responsibilities to Eorzea - it could be weeks before they returned, if not months. 

It took a day. 

"You're back," he said, when they stepped into his chambers, and they nodded.

"I just needed to check in with Tataru, to let her know everything was alright - at least for the moment. How long was I gone?"

"Just a day," he replied. "The others are still here in the Crystarium, if you would have me call for them - though I'm not entirely sure what state they'll be in. The celebration was rather - exuberant."

They smiled, and shook their head. "It's fine. I actually wanted to see you." 

_Ah_. He had been waiting for this. They didn't seem upset, but - well.

"I'm glad," he said. "You stopped me before, after - Hades. But I still believe you deserve an apology, if you would allow me." 

They tipped their head, and then peered at him. "What would you be apologizing for?" they asked. "For lying to me about why you knew about the next calamity, and hiding your identity? Lying about what you expected to happen, when I finished killing all the Wardens? Or perhaps you wish to apologize for how you kept lying, until the end, even when you were trying to sacrifice yourself for me?"

That was... succinct. And the worst part was that they _still_ didn't sound that upset with him. "Yes," he said, quietly. "All that and more."

"I don't really care about the lying," they said. "G'raha, I’ve known who you really are for ages. As soon as I finished talking to the residents of the Crystarium, and realized what you had done exactly what you wanted - you turned the Crystal Tower into a beacon of hope. But I _also_ knew you must have had your reasons for keeping your identity to yourself, so I just... let you." 

They had known? The whole time? 

_They had known before Mt. Gulg?_

And just when he thought he might have a chance to wrap his mind around _that_ , they continued. "What I am a little upset about is - I know it's been a while for you, but before you locked yourself in that stupid tower, do you remember what I said?" 

He opened his mouth, closed it, and winced slightly.

"You wished to know if locking myself within the tower was what I really wanted," he said. "You told me that instead of living for my ancestors, that I could - I should live for myself." 

"And instead..." they said, brows drawn down.

And instead, he had tried to die for them.

"I'm sorry," he said. "If I had thought there was any other option - I didn't _want_ to die."

"That doesn't make it better," they said, sounding upset. They wrapped their arms around themself, ears pressed back, and his heart ached for them. He had never wanted to add to the burdens they carried - that was the whole reason he had put on that farce of abandoning this mostly-dead world to its fate, however easily it had been seen through. 

But the only other option he had considered viable at the time - that was even more unthinkable. 

"What of you?" he asked, unable to stop himself, even as he tried to soften his tone as much as he could. "If you - if you knew that letting yourself die was the only way to save this star - _both_ our stars..."

Their eyes widened, and then - they looked away.

Answer enough, frankly. 

He sighed a little, a smile tugging at his lips, and looked down. "It seems we aren't terribly good at this."

"Two of a kind, really," they sighed, expression hidden by the sweep of their bangs. Their skin, their eyes - those had regained color after they were almost overwhelmed by the light, but their hair could not, and the dark strands remained streaked with white. Not unlike his. Two of a kind.

Then they lifted their eyes to him. "But - what you said to me in Kholusia. About what you wanted to do after this was all over. I want - to do all of it. To tell you my stories. To hear yours. To make new ones, to-" Their voice caught, failed, and though he was beginning to understand what they were saying, he was almost afraid to let himself hope.

"Prim?" he said, very softly, and they held themselves still, shut their eyes tight for just a moment, before they looked up at him again. The eyes of a Keeper were so different than a Seeker's, and he thought he would happily get lost in their endless depths. 

"I want to make new stories _together_ ," they said, and reached out a hand to take his own. "So if you're bad at living for yourself, perhaps - perhaps you could try living for me?" 

For a moment, he felt like he couldn't breath. But they were so still, so tense, as if they were afraid - afraid of what his answer would be. To let them labor for even a moment under the impression that he could ever say no to them - in anything, but especially _this_ \- was unthinkable, and so he forced himself to find his voice and speak. 

"And you would do the same for me?" he asked, voice soft, because he was a little afraid that if he lifted it this beautiful, impossible dream would shatter like glass. 

"I would try," they said, squeezing his hand. " _We_ could try. For each other." 

"Yes," he breathed. "Of course - of course, Prim. Nothing would make me happier." 

They broke out into a smile, swaying toward him, and for a single thrilling moment he thought they might _kiss him again_ , but then they held themself still once again. Their eyes flicked down, to his mouth, and then up again, and then - away. 

"I forgot, before, but I wanted to - I should probably apologize, too. For - before Mt. Gulg." His brows rose, and he opened his mouth to protest automatically, but they shook their head. "I didn't ask, before I... um. I should have asked. I'm sorry. I just didn't think my courage would hold up." 

The courage to steal a kiss before they went off to fight the end of two worlds. He was so overwhelmed with sheer affection that it took him a moment to gather himself to speak.

"You don't have anything to apologize for," he told them, gently. And if this - this was what scared them, he could be brave too, and so he continued: "I would actually extend a blanket permission on all kisses in potentia, actually." 

That made them smile, and he thought he could spend the rest of his life, however long it might be, just finding ways to do that. They peeked up at him again through the fall of their bangs. "And if I were to say that right now, I'd like..."

"Please do," he said, before they even had a chance to finish, and thrilled at the way they _actually giggled_ , before leaning up to press their lips to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me writing the most tooth-rotting fluff imaginable: tHIS IS ENTIRELY IN-CHARACTER HE LOVES THE WOL SO MUCH.


End file.
